Shipwrecked & Comatose

Tell me what you can do. Can you whistle the William Tell Overture? Tie a cherry stem in a knot with your mouth?  Change the oil in your car?  SCUBA dive?  Code an app?  Raise chickens?  Play the ukelele? Do you not want to tell me?  Do you not want to say it in public?  Why not?  Do you think your accomplishments aren't impressive enough?  Do you think you don't do anything well enough to justify putting it on a list of things you can do?  Maybe you think it's wrong to brag.  Maybe you're afraid I'll feel bad if you talk about being able to do something I can't. Maybe you have been taught that humility is a virtue and talking about your skills shows a lack of humility. A few years ago I was at a pool party where one of the guests had brought her young daughter. The little girl and I were playing by the poolside and somehow the topic of doing pushups came up.  I began doing pushups.  I did them the normal way. I di...

Last night I had the honor of moderating a women's panel hosted by the Harrison Public Library.  After hosting so many open mic nights, the head librarian thought I would be a good choice to present the panelists and ask the questions.  It was an honor and it was an enjoyable night. There were four women presenting that night.  One was a physician, one ran a parenting advisory group, one was a yoga teacher, and one was a realtor.  The opening questions were all about whether they ever felt held back by gender expectations of what their careers should be and if they had mentors who helped them along. The women all seemed to live charmed lives.  I don't want any reader to think that I'm saying they didn't work hard or deserve what they had.  They were all incredibly intelligent women who possessed determination and a strong work ethic.  Nonetheless, they had certain advantages.  None of them came from poor backgrounds.  They spoke lovingly ...

Fear of missing out. Popular culture tells us we should avoid feeling this way.  If someone always worries that he is missing out on something important, he will never have any time to himself.  FOMO keeps us from just staying home and relaxing when that is what we really want or need. In addition to having time-consuming hobbies, I am an obsessive planner.  I always need to be doing something and I need to know when I am going to do it.  I need to make sure tasks are done. I want to be assured activities will happen.  I'm sure some of my friends, family, and acquaintances consider me to to be too tightly wound in this area. They see me as too obsessed with schedules.   I am not spontaneous enough.  They don't understand my need to create a full life the way I envision it. You must understand FOMO is what drives me.  FOMO motivates me. FOMO is what stands behind me and forces me to demand the life I want.  I don't want to ever mi...