Saturday, July 26, 2014

Ah, Life's Minor Humiliations (Girl Post)

Since I come from Italian heritage, hair removal is a necessary part of life, particularly in the summer, and especially on warm weather vacations.

During my early years with Kevin, I learned a lesson about shaving on a trip to Florida.  I could shave my legs daily as the occasion called for it.  The more delicate parts at the top presented a problem.  Daily shaving of the bikini line made my skin red and inflamed.  By the end of the trip I had an angry rash and yet still had to keep the area clean if I wanted to go hang out in the pool or the ocean all day.  When I came home from that trip I had to face the truth.  If I wanted to avoid the angry razor burn every day, I was going to have to either wear bloomers or start waxing. Waxing is a few minutes of discomfort, followed by a few hours of redness, followed by a week of not having to do any hair removal.  That's win-win situation in my book. 

The one little problem with bikini waxes is that in order to wax the hair off, you have to let it grow long enough to wax.  That means no shaving that area for a couple weeks prior to your appointment.  It's not a problem usually.  If I plan to swim during that time I do have a hideous swimsuit bottom that covers the area and I can tolerate the way it looks and feels.  For the past two weeks I have been looking less than neat in the pelvic region in preparation for yesterday's appointment at the nail salon.

Unfortunately this week also happened to be the week I started physical therapy for a mysterious pain I have been having in my hip.  My neverending quest to be ripped, combined with my advanced age, has taken its toll on my body.  Ever since October I have been experiencing pain in my right hip crease.  I didn't want to do anything about it until the summer when I would be laying off one form of exercise (dance classes). I went to the orthopedist and had an x-ray and an MRI and was prescribed a month of physical therapy.

I went for my first appointments this week.  My first time was just an evaluation.  For my second one we did the usual round of torturous exercises that one would expect in a physical therapy session.  Then the PT said he would work over the area with an ultrasound machine.  He asked me to pull down my pants just enough to expose a few inches of the hip area.   Then he left the room so I could do that.  He even gave me towels to cover any areas I didn't want exposed.

I did what I was told, but as I tried to position my pants so the area was properly exposed I noticed that the outcroppings of my hairy cooch were on full display.   All of that stuff I had let grow in preparation for the waxing (that was to take place the next day no less) had made itself plain.  I was showing my new (and rather cute) PT an embarrassment of stray pubes.  I tried to tell myself that this was no different some seeing a doctor, but he isn't a doctor (and my doctors are all female anyway).  Was this guy thinking, "Yuck.  I don't want to be seeing this." Was he thinking I had terrible personal grooming habits?  Did he think I was some granola girl who didn't shave (which makes no sense since my lower legs are quite obviously shaved smooth).  I tried to arrange the towels so the worst of it was covered, but there was simply no way to leave room for the ultrasound wand and cover my seemingly sloppy grooming habits.

I'm sure this guy has seen worse, but I still felt so awkward.  It seemed like a bad first impression.  I'm sure this guy had to work at not looking at it and not make judgments.  Actually, I am likely thinking too much into this and he is probably very good at ignoring this sort of thing and doing his job. 

Humans, and I think women in particular, are pretty funny that way.  We allow ourselves to obsess and be worried about how our tiniest flaws will be perceived.

The good news is I went for my wax the next day and once my vacation is over and bathing suits won't be more than a once-a-week occurrence (if that much, depending on how often Mom invites me over to her place), I won't need to wax again.  I don't have to keep letting everything grow and I can be properly groomed for all future PT appointments. 

I love summer, but it does have its drawbacks!

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