Shipwrecked & Comatose

I was purchasing some beach reading for my upcoming vacation at Barnes & Noble and needed a pen to sign the credit receipt. I asked the cashier for one. I might have had one on me, but I knew I could never find it easily in the giant bag I was carrying. How did I get to this point? In college I did what was expected of me and ditched the traditional purse for the more utilitarian backpack. While walking around campus I didn’t need to be carrying anything other than books, pens, notebooks, and my key. When I wasn’t going to class, I never needed more than my room key and ID card, both of which would fit nicely in my pocket, provided I was wearing clothes with pockets. My ID card holder/key fob combo could also hold small amounts of money and driver’s license if need be. Things that didn’t fit in my pockets and didn’t need to be transported via backpack were rarely necessary. Post college I took on the same attitude. When I went out, I much preferred to carry things like a man. The w...

In the past 15 years I have thrown countless dinner parties, one wedding, and one very large birthday party. I find that one of the toughest aspects of throwing a party, no matter how small and casual or how large and spectacular, is getting people to actually tell you they're coming. Sometimes it feels as if etiquette is a lost art. Obviously there are plenty of aspect of traditional etiquette that have been thrown out the window in the past few decades and rightly so. Trying to fall along the lines of specific modes of behavior to the point where it makes people uncomfortable is not an admirable goal. On the other hand, there are aspects of etiquette that I feel should not go the way of the raised pinky. These are the rules that exist because they're not only polite, but can also avoid confusion, unnecessary expenditures, and hurt feelings. I'm talking about responding to invitations, whether that invitation is a quick phone call or a formal invitation. It seems that thes...

After weeks of wondering and anticpating and trying ever so hard not to overspeculate, my birthday has ended. I did my best not to discuss it with Kevin. I didn't want him to feel pressured, nor did I want him to give anything away. It was hard to wait though. I kept wondering about the who, what, and how of things. A week ago, after reading this blog, Kevin cracked and told me it would be a "family party". Of course that's hardly a surprise. My family never misses a party! I did have a bit of fun razzing my friends and family. They knew something and while I wasn't going to try to worm it out of them, it was fun watching them try to keep their voices calm and keep a straight face while discussing it. I'm so evil! Sometimes they made things a bit too obvious. My mother asked me a week ago how Abbey was and if she planned to visit any time soon. That seemed like a big setup if ever there was one. Speaking of razzing - I learned from the master! She wanted to se...

Today I get an email from someone claiming our database is giving her incorrect numbers. She points out that there are places where 3 or 4 or even 5 companies are showing the same number on certain line items. Let's say, for example, that Endeavor, ENI and Exxonmobil are all showing that the repair and maintenance expenses were $2MM. Okay? Why is that? Keep in mind that those two companies do not proceed or succeed each other in the database. Both alphabetically and peer-wise they aren't together. There were 3 or 4 instances like this in the data run the client sent. I went into the database and pulled the numbers myself. I pull the same companies, the same metrics, and the same time periods. In the example listed above, Endeavor had the $2mm maintenance cost and Eni and ExxonMobil had no reported numbers for those years. It seemed to me that whoever downloaded this information simply copied the Endeavor information into the blank cells below it onto the spreadsheet. I...

Who here reading this blog refers to fruit as "hand fruit"? A few years ago I was at a farm stand with a friend examining the nectarines and she said, "Nectarines are my favorite hand fruit." I don't know why I found the term, "hand fruit" amusing. I had never heard it before. I thought it was an interesting and accurate turn of phrase. I figured my friend made it up herself. She was an English major. She's bound to come up with perfect descriptive phrases. That's what writers do. I never really thought much about the term again until the first time I visited the little cafe located in my new office building (the relocated Connecticut office and not the temporary NYC office). I was hungry and wanted a snack and was hoping I could find some fruit there. They had a display of fruit on a tiered tray and a price list. The list said: Banana, $.75 Seasonal Hand Fruit $.95 So that phrase "hand fruit" isn't something my friend ma...

1. Remember what they taught you when you were a kid about looking both ways before crossing the street? It's still a good idea. 2. Order of arrival matters at intersection. If I get to my stop sign first before you get to yours, I enter the intersection before you do. 3. The Powers That Be place crosswalks in the road where motorists are required to stop for pedestrians. If you don't use them, I am not responsible for what happens to you if I happen to be driving. 4. Your horn does not have special, magical powers. These non-existent magical powers do not grow stronger the longer the sound lingers. In other words, leaning on your horn forever will not make other drivers - or traffic in general - yield to your desires. ************************************************************************** And now for something completely different. Ever hope for something, even though you think it's a pretty impractical hope, and then you look at the calendar and the general s...

I have decided to repost some of my favorite posts from my old MySpace blog and put them here for any new readers I may have as well as for my own personal archives after I take the MySpace profile down. This is one of my favorites from the early days of my blog. The references here are rather dated, and fortunately some of the things I worried about in this post have not come to pass, but much of the sentiment behind this post still hold true for me. With the 4th of July upon us and a buttload of Congressional Crap happening to try to distract the people of the US from Iraq, the economy, global warming, and education, the flag is on people's minds right now. Nearly a year after hurricane Katrina, its poorest victims are still struggling with poverty and homelessless. 2500 Americans have now died in Iraq. The weather is freakier than ever. The government tried to solve these problems by brining up a (failed) Amendment to the Consitution prohibiting flag burning. Don't ge...

So it's been a few weeks since I posted about what's going on with me. We have a new month now, and for me, a new year is approaching. July promises to be an exciting month, and despite a few minor inconveniences like getting older, I'm looking forward to it. So how is my "new" job? So far so good. Every morning I go there dreading it because I have so much to learn and a strong fear that I'm never going to learn it all. At the end of the day, I end up feeling much more confident because I'm slowly starting to take on client requests (even if they are with someone watching over me every step of the way). Yesterday I did my first ticket from beginning to completion and it was a pretty satisfying feeling. I realize that the learning curve is steep, but I'm slowly convincing myself that I'm going to get it eventually. The corporate culture at this sister company is way different from the one at Herold. At Herold we're all quite relaxed. Everyone i...