Saturday, March 9, 2013

Week 8 - No Surprise at Stalled Progress

I lost only four-tenths of a pound.  I'm surprised I didn't gain. 

I did my habits for the most part. I just ate a few things I shouldn’t have.

I have to realize that just paying for this program does not automatically give me the body I want.  I still have to do the work.  

I was almost going to make this post a full-blown confessional of the things I shouldn't have eaten this week and why I ate them.  I realized after writing it all out, that it's silly for me to do that.  I don't need a confessional.  I know what I did wrong. There were sweets I was convinced I had a "craving" for.  There were starches I thought would just complete a meal.  It was the wrong thing to do.  I realized that describing it in detail actually makes me dwell on it more.  Every day is a new day to wipe the slate clean.  What I ate was in the past.  I can only do my best to avoid eating crap today.

I think I’m starting to anticipate too much what new habits might be and prepare accordingly. Even though I have no idea what my habit will be for the next two weeks is going to be, I started having this weird paranoia that it would be eliminating white starch. What’s weird is that I don’t eat that much white starch normally. I don’t eat much bread, but once every couple of weeks I’ll have a sandwich for lunch. I make pasta around once a month (although there are a few days of leftovers). Most of the time it’s gluten-free brown rice pasta. I sometimes make brown rice with Asian-style dishes. I try to limit dessert to no more than once a week.  I shouldn’t really care if I can eat white starch or not.

That's a common diet mentality though, isn't it?  We all know the drill.  We're going to start that diet on Monday, so we use the weekend to have that last binge.  Not knowing that my next habit will be, I decided to eat a food I shouldn't have eaten on the off chance it will become forbidden.

Today I was able to read ahead two days for the next habit.  It's to eat five servings of vegetables a day.  Of course our earliest habits are going to be about what to eat rather than what not to eat.  I was worrying over nothing.  I was preparing for something that may never happen.

I talked in prior blogs about how I with my blog I’m making myself accountable to everyone I know, but not to the people who count the most – my teammates and coach. When I voiced these concerns to my coach, she suggested I send her weekly check in emails. It’s funny because she sends me weekly check in emails anyway, which I do answer, but she said she wanted me to email her. I have been doing that, and she doesn’t answer, so I’m not doing this program in a vacuum. What amazed me even more was that in her last weekly check in email she made references to something I said in one of my assignments and asked if I was still following through with that. So what do you know? She does read my assignments and holds me accountable to them.

I don’t know why I should seem so surprised. Yes, there are scores of women on my team that she has to acquaint herself with. Yes, she does have an enormous amount of email to read through, a huge number of assignments to check on, and  a huge number of forum posts to read. That’s her job. She isn’t doing this as a hobby. My teammates and I are paying for a coach and we’re getting one. I shouldn’t feel as if I’m “bothering” my coach or worry if she’s paying attention to what I do on the program when she’s doing exactly what she’s paid to do.

So a pat on the back to you, Mariane! Your help and attention is appreciated.

Now, this week it's about following through with my habits and promising myself that I will see a change on the scale (and perhaps a smidge in the measurements too) next Saturday.

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