Further Thoughts on Wardobe Editing and Curation (Or not doing either)

Five years ago I made a post about how I am becoming more conscious about what I add and remove from my wardrobe, while still staying true to myself.  I don't want to follow rules about "curation" and "capsules" but I wanted to make sure everything I owned was wearable and in good shape.  I took my entire wardrobe out of my closet and evaluated every piece for condition, fit, and and how much I loved it.  I came to the conclusion at the end of the post that I had far more items of clothing than the thirty-three remixable pieces that are supposed to comprise a capsule, but I was happy.

I admit when I look at that post, I am appalled at the amount of stuff I had, even after getting rid of so much of it.  I bought so much more.  I do not acquire clothes as consciously as I like to think I do.  Even now the tendency to overbuy continues.  I put away my summer clothes for the winter this weekend.  When the seasons change I cull anything I haven't worn and put it in the donation pile before I put everything away.  I had a full bag this time.

During lockdown I amused myself by watching YouTube videos, and many of them were fashion vloggers.  When I was sitting at home all day in leggings and jeans and t-shirts, I longed to be able to put on some better clothes and go out into the world.  Watching style videos was my way to live vicariously through these women.  

I watched videos on how to dress a mature figure.  I watched videos on how to dress a petite figure.  I watched videos on how to dress a curvy figure.  I watched videos on how to dress a petite, curvy, mature figure.  I watched videos on how to be as stylish as a French woman and I watched videos on how to dress like an Italian woman.  I watched videos on how to dress like a petite, mature, French woman.  (You get the picture.)

One has to take the advice from fashion bloggers and vloggers with a grain of salt. As I said in my old post, nobody else can tell you what items will make up the perfect wardrobe for you.  No expert should dictate how many accessories are too much or too little, or how many items should be in your closet,  what cuts will unquestionably flatter your particular body type, or what colors you should be wearing.  Sometimes our unique bodies are exceptions to the accepted rules.  Sometimes we love something regardless of whether or not it flatters us.  Confidence is our best accessory after all.  

I truly want to focus on quality as much as quantity.  I have nothing against quantity, but it's not only about fit, condition, and wearability.  Thanks to some of the research I did during the pandemic, I am putting much more focus on how to make the stuff I choose to keep look its best. 

I'm stubborn and I don't like other people telling me how to dress, but I also like to know when I go out that my outfit is looking as fabulous as possible.  I am not looking to shock people, make a lasting impression, or freak people out.  What I want to do is  present myself in a way that gives the impression that I am polished and put together.  I want people to think, "She looks classy.  She looks like someone who put in an effort in the morning.  She has great style."  I don't want the attention on my outfit.  I want it to be on the total picture of me.  

For most of my adult life I was sabotaging some of my efforts by not paying attention to things like proportion and fit.  I learned a few tips during my lockdown binge watching  I feel are going to help me improve my knowledge of what I should have in my closet and how to wear it.  That's what I want to talk about in this post.  What did I learn and how will I use it to make the clothes I own look their best (no matter how much or how little is in my closet)?

The first rule I embraced was to understand proportion. 

For the past few years, my favorite outfits consisted of a tunic over leggings or skinny pants.  I assumed this was a flattering look for me.  The tunic covered my torso, minimizing my large bust, covering my belly (my worst feature) and showing my lower legs (one of my better features) to their advantage.  Why shouldn't that work?

I realized I was doing it all wrong.  My long untucked shirts looked sloppy and unpolished.  They made me look shapeless.

I also learned about the Rule of Thirds.  This is the design principle that says an image should be broken into three parts.  This is the most aesthetically balanced view of an artistic image, building, or sculpture. The same can be said of an outfit.  When I wore a crotch-grazing tunic and pants, I was cutting my body in half.  

The Rule of Thirds has me roughly dividing my body from neck to waist, waist to knees, and knees to feet.  Not only does tucking in my shirt look more polished, it also creates a one-third break in my outfit.  If I can't tuck it in, then I pay more attention to length.  Jackets and cardigans need to fall above my crotch line or else they need to be a longer, duster length so they cover two-thirds of my body.

I wanted the long-shapeless tops to cover my stomach, but they did so at the expense of covering one of my best features (my butt).  Rather than cover my stomach, I now wear belts with a prominent buckle more often.  This draws attention to the narrowest place on my torso and reminds the world I have an hourglass figure even if I do have a belly pooch.

Here are two photos showing the difference between the old way of doing things and the new.  In the first photo I am wearing a tunic and leggings with boots in a contrasting color (but they are gorgeous boots).  In the second photo I have my sweater tucked in and I am wearing the same color pants and shoes.  The difference is obvious here.  No, I did not lose significant amounts of weight between the times these photos were taken.  

Next I began paying more attention to fit.  I can't emphasize the importance of fit enough.  Just because you can put it on your body and it's not too tight, doesn't mean it fits you well.

I'm not only petite.  I'm super-petite.  I can buy petite clothing, but it's still made for women 3"- 5” taller than I am.  Petite pant legs may not drag on the floor, but the hemlines can still hit in awkward places.  Sleeves don't hang smoothly because they hang down beyond my wrists and bunch up.  I am somewhat hourglass-shaped, which means pants that fit me in the hips might be too big in the waist.

It is vital to invest in tailoring.  There is no way around it.  If you like an item but it fits strangely in one spot, then take it to a tailor.  Take those hemlines to a better spot on your legs.  Shorten the sleeves.  Have pants taken in at the waist.  Make sure skinny pants hit you at the ankle an pants you wear with heels come to your instep.

The second important aspect of fit is to not accept that a garment fits "well enough", but truly fits.  I am busty, so I tend to go for the large size in tops.  Baggy tops hide my big boobs and my poochy belly, right?  If it's not too tight, then it fits.  

The problem with too-big tops is that they don't hang correctly and distort your shape.  They move around your body making them look sloppy.  You want your clothes to lie flat against your body and drape in the places they are supposed to drape.  Nothing should bunch up or move to the wrong area.

The next rule I learned was about creating more vertical lines.  While I have always known that vertical lines elongate, there are many ways to create vertical lines I hadn't considered.  Most of us know the old adage about how vertical stripes are more flattering than horizontal stripes.  How many of us know nothing elongates your torso like a V-neck?  As a mature, busty woman, I wear V-necks as much as possible.  I have ditched all turtlenecks (except for when I am at the barn on winter days) because nothing emphasizes the distance between my head and my boobs like a turtleneck.  

There are other ways to put vertical lines on your body you might not have considered.  An open cardigan or blazer puts two vertical lines up and down your torso. Statement earrings can elongate your neck and thus draw the eye upwards as well.  It's important to keep the interesting details higher up on the body.  

I even learned to make sure to place makeup higher on the face.  Mature women shouldn't try to contour under the cheekbones and should place eye makeup higher up on the lids and crease.

Another rule I used to ignore, but now embrace is monochrome dressing. Wearing one color from head to toe creates another long, vertical line, which is crucial to make short women look thinner and less stumpy.

In the past I never liked dressing in all one color.  A single column of color feels monotonous at best.  At worst is looks overwhelming (if I am wearing one overall bright color) or somber (if I wear head-to-toe black or gray).  

YouTube fashion experts showed me how I can wear a monochromatic outfit without looking like a single, bright or somber column.  I can wear different shades of the same color and still have some of the elongating effect.  I can wear different textures (like a silk top over wool pants or a textured sweater or jacket over a plain skirt).  I can wear subtle patterns with a solid color.  I can add a contrasting third piece over a monochrome base.  

Even if I decide to keep my upper third one color and my lower two-thirds in another color, I can still create length with shoes.  I know I will break this rule now and then because I love fun colored shoes, but matching shoes to your pants or tights elongates the legs.  If you are wearing a skirt with nude legs, then nude shoes are the way to go (with extra points for an elongating pointy toe).  Black shoes go with black pants and black hose.

Another major component of a good wardrobe is color.  You should always know your best colors. Also, keep in mind, if you gravitate to certain colors, don't freak out if your closet seems too monochrome.  You don't need to have a rainbow in your closet.  You can create a variety of interesting outfits with three or four colors (including your neutrals).  French women never wear more than three colors at one time and they are known for their elegant style.  The key is to make sure they are the colors that flatter you and make you feel beautiful.  I would talk more about colors, but that could take up far too much blog space.  I would be happy to do another post about it if anyone is interested.

I will finish this post by saying the major rule to know is there are no rules.  I took a lot of advice to heart because I felt as if my clothes could look better, and learning some new rules helped me continue to make sure my closet was full of loved and wearable items.  You may take a different route to the same destination.  

Rules I Ignore

1. That I should have a certain number of "curated" items in my closet.  

Nope.  I still don't hold myself to numbers.  If I wear it regularly and can make outfits with it, then it stays

2. That certain items are universally flattering.

Nope.  There are some styles that don't look right on me, even ones the "experts" say are my best choices. 

3. That some items are must-haves

Nope.  For example, I don't need a black turtleneck when I hate turtlenecks.  I am okay without a denim jacket.  I don't wear scarves anymore unless I need to keep my neck warm.  I know what I like to wear and those are the things I must have.

Happy Dressing.

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Resources

Now that I told you a bit about how I cultivate style and work on perfecting my wardrobe and my look, I thought I might provide some of the resources I use to get advice and source my clothing.

Where I shop:

Macy's - Nordstrom used to be my go-to department store, but it has fallen out of favor in recent years.  It used to have a giant petite department in the brick-and-mortar stores, but it was eliminated.  Then Nordstrom took it a step further by removing the petite segmented area from the website.  Now I have to hunt and peck for petite clothes on that site and there are fewer of them.

In the past year it seems whenever I am looking for a specific clothing item, I can find it on the Macy's website in a petite size.  The website still has a segmented area for petite clothing.  The Herald Square location still has a petite department as well.  I never thought the brick-and-mortar stores had good customer service, but I'm willing to overlook that if I can find what I need.  When I need something specific, Macy's is becoming a go-to website.  

StitchFix - I have been buying boxes from StitchFix for several years now with mixed success.  Ordering a surprise box from StitchFix means being at the mercy of whatever is in the inventory at the time you order it. Their stylists do seem to understand my style, and there have been plenty of times they got it right.  Unfortunately there are also times the stylists might not have anything I would like in inventory and I end up with a box of clothes I hate and I lose the twenty-dollar styling fee after sending it all back.  

About a year ago StitchFix introduced the Freestyle app.  You can give input on various items of clothing or outfits, and the algorithm uses your input to suggest clothes you can buy and order directly from the app.  It doesn't suggest anything currently not in inventory.  It even puts together outfit suggestions based on the clothes you already bought.  It lacks the personal human touch of a box, but it suggests some useful pieces.  I do still order boxes for fun now and then, but I when I shop directly from Freestyle, I send far less stuff back.

Boden - The clothes here are both classic and whimsical, and the quality is good. There is a good selection of petite styles, and clothes run true-to-size, so there is less guesswork about what will fit.  Sometimes the colors and patterns are a little obnoxious, but many are just adventurous enough.  The company pays lip service to ethics and sustainability.  I don't know if it's true, but it makes fools like me feel a little better about shopping there.

Banana Republic - I used to shop here infrequently at the brick-and-mortar locations.  Sometimes I found some interesting clothes, but the stores often don't carry petites and sizing was all over the place.  Either the selection in the store was boring, or nothing fit properly.  When I started spending more time on the Banana Republic website, I found many more options in my size and the quality is consistent.  It is now one of my go-to websites. 

Loft - Cheaper and more relaxed than its buttoned-up sister store, Ann Taylor, I often find clothes I like in the brick-and-mortar store, which has a large petite section.

ShortStory - Clothing boxes are a gamble, which is why I am reluctant to try more surprises from StitchFix.   Then I heard about ShortStory Box.  It's a service that only does petite clothing.  So far I  tried one box, but I kept three out of the five pieces in it.  Prices were comparable to StitchFix.  I plan to try a few more boxes and see if they can keep delivering.

ThredUp - Do I buy too much?  Am I contributing to the global waste problem along with pollution and the human rights issues in the garment industry?  Doing more thrifting can help with that.  

Thrifting has become a hobby among some influencers, and buying secondhand seems to have become gentrified in recent years.  The demand for low-cost, quality merchandise in secondhand stores seems to outweigh the supply at times, and the women with money to spend will snatch up all the best stuff as prices keep climbing.  

There are still some great bargains to be had at ThredUp.  It is inclusive of specialty sizes.  The website is well organized.  The money you save buying the clothes can be put toward the cost of tailoring something whose fit is less than perfect.  You can also easily consign your own clothes.  All you need to do is request a pre-paid bag from them and send along your unwanted clothes.  They do all the listing work for you and if it sells, you get site credit.  They even do StitchFix-style "goody boxes".  

Who I'm Watching

I say I get my inspiration from fashion YouTubers.  Who are the ones I watch?

Marie-Anne LeCoeur - The French Chic Expert - She is like a mentor, a friend who always tells the truth, a cultural expert you wish you had before you went on your last European vacation.  LeCouer's channel is a mix of French cultural tips, personal style advice, and outfit curation - and she rocks a hot red lipstick while doing it.  She will tell you how to work with certain pieces in your wardrobe to create multiple looks.  She provides advice on different body types and advises mature women how to not look frumpy.  She will show you how to make a boring item fabulous.  Her French sensibility of simple elegance may not be for you if your wardrobe skews outrageous and you like to dress for shock value (nothing wrong with that), but she will also remind you that true style comes from the inside.  Your attitude and your physical health are more important than what you wear.

Alyssa Beltempo - She is the expert on "slow fashion".  Her focus is on finding more ways to "shop your closet".  She shows new ways to put together outfits using clothes you already have, even ways to imitate seasonal trends.  She is a Canadian with Italian heritage and her style aesthetic is Italian as well.  Although she doesn't focus as much on Italy as Marie-Anne LeCoeur focuses on France, she does incorporate Italian lifestyle and fashion tips into her videos.

Audrey Coyne - Coyne gives helpful advice on how to put outfits together and how to make the most of your wardrobe.  Some of her videos are about how to style a particular item of clothing, and some of them are about how to combine colors.  She has videos on how to make your clothes cross seasons and videos on how small tweaks can change an outfit.  She provides tips on understanding quality and how to decide if a splurge is worth it.  Out of all the YouTubers I watch, her style is probably the most similar to mine.  I do occasionally get tired of her saying something looks, "So beautiful" and I can't agree with her that camel coats are a must-have (even she says she looks best in cool colors, so when she wears a camel coat, it sticks out like a sore thumb on her), but I do find many of her looks inspiring, even though she is much younger and thinner than I am.  A caveat of her channel is she lives in the south, so she doesn't have to dress for hardcore winter weather - a tip I could use.

Petite Dressing - Chi Li is hilarious and there is something real about her.  She addresses various body types and what the best wardrobe choices are for them  She makes videos about one type of clothing (such as shoes or skirts) and what the best choices are for them (and what should be avoided).  

Dearly Bethany - There are a few things I don't like about this petite styling channel, although I have nothing against Bethany herself.  Bethany is young and thin, so other than being short, we don't have much in common.  I also don't like her style at all.  It's fine for her, but I wouldn't wear most of the stuff she shows on her channel.  I hate her colors.  Why do I watch her?  

For one thing, her style is unique.  She has nailed the art of finding a way to dress that is personal to her (and her videos are often advertisements for her "find your personal style" course).  I find that inspiring even if I don't like her actual clothes.  

The second is that this woman is a genius.  Seriously.  She can find a way to make any item of clothing flatter.  She can tweak a midi-skirt (one of the biggest enemies of the petite woman) and still look taller in it.  Watch her for the outfit tweaks if for no other reason.

Busbee Style - She's thin, blonde, and rich, so I don't always feel like I can relate to this YouTuber, who often recommends high-end brands, but she gives some good advice.  This channel is meant for mature women who don't want to be caught in a style rut, and want their clothes to be fresh and youthful without looking like they are trying too hard.  Busbee is honest about how certain cuts, patterns, and lengths can make you look dated, frumpy, heavy, or old.  If you can't bear to let go of a certain style, she offers more flattering alternatives to the same look.   She also offers numerous outfit tweaks to make your existing clothes look better.  She lives in Colorado, so she tends to wear more layers and jackets than I do and doesn’t need to dress for long periods of extreme hot weather, so like Audrey Coyne in reverse, her seasonal suggestions don't always work for me.

Mommies Makeup and Moscato - To watch this channel I had to get past the cringe factor of this basic white girl title (although one of the Mommies isn't white) and my desire to stab myself when they start each video shouting "Hi Guys," but there are some good tips on here.  They are like a low-rent version of Busbee.  They do outfit tweaks, suggestions for style upgrades, and how to work with the latest trends.  Their suggestions are more budget friendly than some of the other vloggers, as they often get their clothes from WalMart and Target.  They are based in Florida, so they also aren't the best source is not great for winter advice.   Another aspect I don't like about their videos is the lack of sustainability.  They have "haul" videos and often focus on seasonal trends.  They seem to encourage consumption rather than sustainability. 

Shea Whitney - I almost didn't include this one, because I don't think most of her tips are that unique or special.  She's taller, younger, and thinner than I am (I learned recently why she is so thin and I have much more sympathy now) and clearly has more money (her videos are shot from a "closet" that is an entire room).  Her style isn't much like mine (it's kind of boring) and she has a lot of luxury brand recommendations that aren't in my budget (although she also buys from low-end stores, Amazon, and thrift stores). Plus she does "haul" videos, and as I stated above, I like vloggers who encourage us to buy less, not more.  

Still, I can't stop watching her.  She's like an Energizer Bunny.  She's so hyper and cheerful.  I don't know if she's sincere or not, but she manages to convince you she is in love with everything she shows you.  Even if she is criticizing some style element she doesn't like, she will be apologetic and remind you repeatedly that this is only her opinion and you should buy what you like.  She's exhausting to watch, but I keep watching.  On the plus side, if she's plugging a product or service, it means she is partnered with the vendor, so if it interests you, there will be a discount code involved.