Today's Prompt: What Is My Style?

I came across a prompt recently: Describe your style

I do occasional posts about style and makeup here on S&C, but I don't think I have ever tried to describe what my style is and how I express it.

Style is a tricky subject.  Many women wrongly feel style is something you have or you don't.  Style sense is something one is born with, rather than something one develops over time.  Some women view style as something static, rather than something that evolves as their lives and needs change.  Women can feel trapped in a look, or feel hopeless they can't do better when their outfits no longer look good or reflect their personality. 

One phrase I feel hinders most women when it comes to finding their own best look is the phrase, "Effortless Style."  It implies that some women can put together outfits without thinking.  Again, it gives the illusion of style being innate rather than learned.  

That is a lie.  Style takes effort - and we should make that effort.  Style is not innate but it can can be learned and developed.  I believe looking your best helps you feel your best and doing the work is worth it. 

I understand the desire to not want to put in the effort.  There are many more important things in life than how one dresses.  Looks shouldn't be what matters in life anyway. We don't want others judging us on how we dress and we certainly shouldn't judge ourselves that way.  We should put our effort into endeavors that are meaningful.

That being said, I encourage women to develop style even if it seems like an insignificant aspect of life.  I'm not saying this because we should be focused on how others perceive us.  We should pay attention to style, because of how it can make us feel about ourselves.   The right look can give us confidence. It may be true that we decide our style as no style at all, it can affect how others think of us.  That isn't why we should care.  Giving our happiest and best presentation of ourselves externally can affect how we feel internally. Effortless style may be a myth, but making an effort can have a real and positive effect.

One style aspect that bugs me is how popular culture complicates the issue with the trend toward minimalism.  Everyone is supposed to have a "capsule" wardrobe with a set number of clothing pieces that can be endlessly interchanged with each other.  It's usually based around neutral colors and basic items.  There are companies cashing in on this trend by selling all thirty pieces in the capsule for your convenience.  Imagine being told how easy it would be if you only bought ten more basic pieces in your closet you could effortlessly combine together. That doesn't sound too minimalist to me.  I find most of the capsules I see online boring and bland.  

The other obstacle to good style is the rigid ways we are told to define our look.  Over the years fashion experts have created monolithic style types such as "classic", "romantic", "dramatic", "edgy", "ingenue" and "boho" among others.  What do these even mean?  What if you feel like you don't fit any of them, or you fit all of them?  The meanings are watered down and broad.

For example, take the word, preppy.  A "preppy" once referred to someone who attends a prestigious private school geared toward preparing the student for college - colloquially called a "prep school."  The term implies old money and WASP heritage.  The fashion aesthetic is meant to mimic the clothes students at such a school would wear, or what they would wear during summer vacation at the yacht club or country club. The clothes are conservative and boring as prep school students are under strict dress codes or wear uniforms.  The clothes would include items like plaid skirts, polo shirts, loafers, boat shoes, khakis, tweed blazers, fair isle sweaters, and button-down oxford shirts.  The clothes were often top quality and expensive because the old money families could afford the best.  

By the time I was in high school, "preppy" took on a whole new meaning.  I think in almost any high school in the 80s and 90s, the rich kids were always called the "preps" even though they attended public school. They spent a lot of money on clothes, but in a public high school with no dress codes, the clothes didn't have to be conservative.  They could wear the latest fashions.  Dressing in any expensive outfit, or outfit from whatever store at the mall was considered cool, was called "preppy" even though it was miles away from the preppy aesthetic.  

So in other words, labels can be meaningless.  Most fashion buckets are little more than words that are open to interpretation.  It's time we invent our own labels.

There is now a new method I like much better.  Rather than use someone else's definition of style, it's time for us to define our own.  Take three words that describe your style, or the style you aspire to, and build your closet around clothes that reflect those words.

In the past few years I have been revamping how I dress.  I love my clothes, but I was dressing all wrong.  I believed my best look was tunics, boots, and leggings.  It turned out tunics cut me in half, shortened my legs, and made me look bigger.  Hiding under oversized clothes only makes me look frumpy.  (Check out this post for the full details of my self discovery).  I began tucking in my tops, adding more belts, buying more fitted tops, and finding creative ways to go monochrome.  

I do not have a minimalist capsule wardrobe, but I have brought myself to a place where I like everything in my closet.  I can pull out any random item and make at least two outfits with it.  

So what are my words?

Tailored - I was originally going to use the tired word, "Classic" but classic implies an aesthetic that doesn't always suit my personality.  I like clothes that are structured.  I have a soft, full body and I wear clean simple straight lines to balance that. Clothes that are boxy or shapeless can make me look frumpy or bulky. Clothes with too many fussy details add visual weight to my figure. I do own some relaxed casual pieces for summer wear, but those always stay within my other words. I wear them with forethought and intention (see the playful word below).

Playful - Putting together outfits should be fun! The first aspect of dressing playfully is dressing with intention.  I spend a lot of time on Pinterest looking for inspiration for outfits. I like finding new ways to wear what's in my closet.  Can I change the way an outfit looks by undoing a button, rolling up sleeves, wearing fun shoes, or adding interesting jewelry?  I want to be able to pull an item out of my closet and say, "What can I do with this today?" and then do it.  I like to play with my clothes.

The other playful element of my wardrobe is that I love patterns such as polka-dots, stripes, and delicate florals.  I may be a mature woman, but I am young at heart and the tailored cuts of many of my clothes are made less conservative by adding a touch of whimsy or some unexpected colors and patterns.  I also enjoy eye-catching details like interesting cutouts.  I like to mix textures like a silk blouse with jeans or a soft sweater with leather.

Additionally I love color.  It's important for me to have the right colors, and plenty of them in my wardrobe. I know it's controversial, but I have subscribed to seasonal color typing theory since I was in high school.  I believe the right colors can make you look and feel your best. I have seen the evidence that cool, highly saturated colors are what make me shine.  I love purple, burgundy, magenta, and raspberry.  I love royal blue, cobalt, and hot turquoise.  I also like to throw in some cherry red, emerald green, and deep forest green.  You will never see me in anything yellow or yellow-tinged such as coral, peach, orange, kelly green, or lime green.  My neutrals are black, white, gray, and navy.  I avoid almost all earth tones such as brown, beige, camel, and olive (except I do own some shorts in beige, but shorts aren't something worn near my face and don't take up much bodily real estate).  

Feminine - There is little about my wardrobe that is mannish or gender-bending. I have a curvy, womanly figure and I play that up with my wardrobe. My clothes are all cut for women's bodies. I don't overdo girly details like bows and ruffles (too overwhelming when you're short and have extra padding), but the shapes and style of my clothes are unmistakably ladylike.  I enjoy a few small pretty details such as a delicate floral pattern, some (quality) lace, or crochet.  As mentioned above, I love girly colors like pink and purple.  

Here are some outfits I put together. I am not a fashion blogger and my outfit photos are not particularly well photographed.  They are only her to display some elements of my style.

Here I added some playful interest to a classic white dress by adding a red necklace and some sweet red shoes.

This monochrome burgundy outfit gets a playful touch of drama with a black duster.

This outfit is feminine with a soft silk blouse and a tailored pencil skirt in a conservative color, but the pink floral in the skirt is a little playful. (I know it's an awkward pose and my home is a mess.)

I don’t conform to any one defined look.  It’s all about understanding what flatters, finding the elements I am drawn to, and finding ways to have fun with them so I look and feel my best.