Today completes my first week of Lean Eating. So far nothing about my life or my body has changed radically.
I had such anticipation and even fear regarding what was going to happen next. What would my tasks be? Who would my coach be? What habits would I be adopting right away?
I very badly wanted my coach to be Krista Scott-Dixon. It was the Stumptuous website that led me to Lean Eating in the first place. Then I found out that she isn't going to be coaching the LE teams this year and is working more as a program developer for the parent company. I looked at the coach bios and tried to see if one looked more appealing than the other. I liked Veronica the Colombian woman who has curly dark hair like mine and rides horses. I liked Krista Schaus, whose work and websites were always recommended by Scott-Dixon. I liked the one coach who looked a little thicker than some of the others because her body looked more attainable.
I couldn't believe the negative reaction I had when I received my first email from my coach, Mariane. I thought to myself, "That little red-headed pixie is nothing like me." She's a former competitive gymnast, which would make her a natural athlete to begin with. It's not that I really thought any one coach would be so superior to any other. I think I was just mentally resisting everything.
They gave me my first set of exercises to do. I was a little put off by them as well. The program seemed geared toward women who were out of shape. I do pushups from my toes and burpees. I work on TRX and kettlebells. What was this simplistic program supposed to do for me? Then there was the issue that the scheduled exercise days were totally off from my own workout schedule.
Then there were my daily lessons and habits. The lessons mostly focused on how the program worked. My daily habit was to take a fish oil supplement and a probiotic every day for two weeks. Let me tell you something, fishburps are no fun. I hate fish and tend to be gassy. This means I burp often and it's no fun to be burping up a taste I find repulsive.
I also didn't realize just how many women would be on my team. I was thinking it would be twenty. It's more like two hundred.
I think all of my resistance is natural. As much as I want to change my body, I fear the changes I will be making in my life. I paid good money for this program and I want it to work, but it seems I want it to work only on my terms. Yet I know exactly how far losing weight on my terms has taken me in the past (losing and regaining the same 10-20 pounds over and over).
I'm just surrendering to the program and trusting that if I follow it as directed, it will work. Sometimes I do add a set or two of pushups or some TRX-assisted pullups in the gym, but otherwise I do the exercises they give me with as many sets and reps as directed. I take my fish oil supplements in capsules rather than liquid even though I'm supposed to do liquid to help me deal with the taste (that does mean taking more than one a day though). I don't deal much with my coach directly, but she has responded to me in forums that I can set my own schedule for workouts and not use theirs.
As for the size of the team, I have been finding ways to make new friends. We started an "accountability partner" program where you find someone with similar interests whom you can count on to help you on the path. I found Stefanie, who is a Boston-based, petite, 40-something, DINK, equestrian, and foodie. In other words, someone very much like me (except she rides in dressage competitions at first level and works at second and third level with her horse - I am in awe).
I'm frustrated because up until today I had 100% compliance with the program, but I'm sick and it's keeping me from the gym. It hurts just to think about talking. I want to sleep constantly. I know I need a day or two to recover before hitting the gym again.
Right now with no nutritional habits to follow, I'm not losing any weight. I'm just still doing some of my bad eating habits. I have sworn this week I want to try to lose one pound. I just want to get myself on track with eating better. I know I can do that much without the help of the program.
Let's see what our next week has in store.