Sunday, September 8, 2013

A Windfall - Or Just a "How To Be Dumb" Moment?

I don't know how long I went without ever being able to close my underwear drawer.  I suppose that I'm usually in such a hurry to put my laundry away that once I have my underwear in there, I cease to be concerned about whether or not I can close the drawer.

I was putting my laundry away yesterday and for the first time in I don't know how long, I started to feel irritated that I couldn't close the drawer.  I kept refolding and rearranging my stuff hoping to make that overstuffed drawer close.  It just wasn't happening.  The drawer was just too full.  I tried to comfort myself.  You can never have too much underwear, right?  You have to have a steady supply of clean underwear in case you're in an accident.

Here was the problem.  For someone who had so much underwear that the drawer was overstuffed and couldn't be closed, I really didn't have that much underwear at all.  I always seem to be losing my lingerie.  I make semi-frequent trips to Main Hoisery and to the Maidenform Outlet at Olde Lafayette Village.  I make some semi-serious stock-ups when I go.  Despite this, my supply was always dwindling and I'm always going out to buy more underwear.  Somehow I never had enough.

I always blamed the laundry room in my building.  The washing machine must have been eating my underwear.  That really wasn't likely because I don't have sock-eating washers and dryers in the laundry room.  If I lose a sock it's likely that I just left one behind or else it ended up tangled in the sheets.  Maybe I accidentally left a bra or two behind in the dryer and it ended up going home with the next person's load.  Maybe some perv was stealing it for his own pleasure.  Who knew?  I just knew I have to make those frequent lingerie shopping trips.

So yesterday, putting away my meager supply of underwear and becoming increasingly frustrated that I couldn't close the drawer, I had a revelation.

"Is it possible that maybe something is trapped behind the drawer?" I asked myself.  I figured I had nothing to lose by checking.  I pulled the drawer out of the dresser.

Well, lo and behold!  At the back of the dresser, behind where the drawer was, I saw an enormous supply of bras and panties.  Those cute panties I bought at Maidenform on my last outing there that I thought were gone forever?  Recovered!  That super-flattering, well fitting, comfortable bra that had gone for a walk?  It was squashed up back there too.  It's almost embarrassing to admit what I found back there.  I found bras and panties from Victoria's Secret and I haven't shopped at Victoria's Secret in years (I feel the quality went way down from where it was 20 years ago).   There were bras there I had purchased when I was still in denial about my size. (I tried them on just in case my diet program was working miracles.  Unfortunately, they still don't fit.)  It was a complete windfall.   I don't have to go underwear shopping for quite some time.

Despite my happiness, I feel really stupid.  How could I go all of this time wondering why my underwear kept disappearing and neglecting a stuck drawer and not even considering the connection between the two?  At least I can say I learned my lesson and will pay more attention to these things in the future.

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