The Corona Christmas Conumdrum

If you know me, then you know I am not someone to rush the Christmas season.  You won't see me decorating as soon as Halloween is over.   I prefer to find other ways to celebrate and find joy in my life.  However, it's late November now, so the time has come for me to start planning my Christmas celebrations.

Well, it would be under normal circumstances, but these are not normal circumstances.

In a normal holiday season, I would buy a tree in early December.  I like to buy one from a nursery where I can pretend I'm walking through a forest as I browse the selection (a holdover from childhood).  Prior to purchasing the tree I head to my storage locker to make sure the ornaments and lights are waiting for the tree when it comes home.  Kevin and I will spend a Saturday evening listening to Christmas music (but not the cheesy repetitive annoying songs you hear on soft rock radio for weeks on end and we don't listen to it at home other times) while we put up the lights and decorations (with me often surreptitiously moving the decorations he puts on).  My Christmas decorations also include the serving platters I use for Christmas dinner, which I always look forward to cooking for my family.  I have other traditions for myself such my spending the evening of the Winter Solstice with a cup of spiked hot chocolate and a reading of Paul Theroux's A Christmas Card and the  Dulce Domum chapter of the Wind in the Willows.  

My family canceled our Thanksgiving dinner and nobody wants to plan Christmas yet.  We are all assuming a Christmas gathering can't happen.  So now I have to ask myself, "Do I want to buy a tree and decorate?"

Decorating the house for Christmas feels like a big pain right now.  I am trying to hunker down and shelter in place for the next few weeks.  If I buy a tree, I will have to go out among people and deal with the mask.  I will be stressed about keeping the right amount of space between myself and others. Keeping my distance makes for longer times waiting in lines, especially if I go into establishments that limit the number of people who can enter them.  Once I buy my tree, I have to haul it upstairs to my apartment.   I will also have to make that trip to the storage locker and lug all of that stuff home. Then I have a month (at most) to enjoy it before I have to undecorate and dispose of the tree and return the ornaments to the storage locker.  Let's not even talk about vacuuming up the pine needles.*

Is all of this worth it when Kevin and I will be the only ones enjoying it?

What are the advantages of decorating?  It will lend a festive air to the place and Kevin and I desperately need a bit of merriment.  This has been a difficult year for us for many reasons and it could do us some good to put a little Christmas cheer in the home.

On the other hand, I wonder if a Christmas tree would only remind us of what we are missing.  For me Christmas is about family.  It's about cooking and sharing a meal with people.  It's about seeing the delight on a loved one's face when he opens the perfect gift.  Every day I look at a tree in my home, I might start thinking of everything I won't have in my home on December 25th.

I suppose at this point some of my readers might be thinking I need to be reminded of the True Meaning of Christmas®.  You don't need to remind me.  I know what Christmas is supposed to celebrate.  I suppose I could counterpoint that argument and go into the history of the holiday and the pagan origins, but what would be the point?  Right now in the 21st Century USA, Christmas is primarily a Christian celebration whose pagan origins are irrelevant to Christians. According to them, if I only care about the celebrations, then I'm missing the point.

(DO NOT READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED.  SKIP TO THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH.)

 I have dedicated many lines in this blog about why I celebrate Christmas and make no apologies for celebrating in a secular fashion.  I will be blunt and say the real meaning of Christmas has little meaning for me.  I tried to be that kind of person.  In my journey I had plenty of good times and met some special people, but in the end, I couldn't believe in it.  I can't pretend what I don't feel.  Sticking a nativity scene under the tree will not make me feel more cheerful this time of year.  I spent years trying to believe and accept these things.  I put in a massive effort, but in the end, I can't subscribe to that belief system.  It doesn't make sense or ring true for me.  I respect the right of others to believe it, but it's not what will make me feel more festive this Christmas.

I still have a couple of weeks to decide.  I can give it more thought once I am finished celebrating my two-person Thanksgiving.  I may find my living room is looking empty and needs the fresh scent of pine and some glitter and lights to fill it up.  I bought a new ornament at the Bronx Zoo back in September with a red panda on it and it deserves to be displayed.  I have spent much of this year trying to adjust to the new normal and missing so much of my old life.  Maybe a tree will give me some semblance of life before COVID (and life before other disasters).

Stay tuned.  You never know what will happen.  Nothing is predictable in this world anymore, including Christmas decorations.

*No.  I will not consider a fake tree

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