Shipwrecked & Comatose

What should the role of a First Lady be? Ever since her ( lying, misogynist, racist, corrupt ) husband took office, Americans have closely observed the actions of his wife Melania.  Why does she always look so miserable? Why does she seem to actively avoid her husband (remember when she slapped his hand away)?  Does she really enjoy the perks of the job?  Does she really want the responsibility? Right from the beginning the pundits speculated that not only did she not want the job, but she was actively shunning it.  She spent five months living away from the White House with the excuse that she didn't want her son to switch schools.  The rumors swirled that she was not interested in the implied job of White House social secretary and national hostess.  Perhaps that was going to be Ivanka's job. Eleven months later the speculation is still going strong.  Even though Melania is taking on some of the social roles expected of a First Lady, she doesn't look happy about it.

Whenever I hear friends and acquaintances blather on about how much they love fall, one of the most common reasons they state is a love of Halloween.  If fall is their favorite time of year, then Halloween is their favorite holiday. What is it about Halloween?  Is it the joy we take in artifice?  Do we believe costumes can transform us into something or someone else?  Do we think decorating with undead characters and murderers and mystical figures puts us in an acceptable place to explore our own dark sides?  Do we like to scare ourselves?  In the end, is it just an excuse to eat too much and (for adults) drink excessively just like almost any other holiday we celebrate in the US? I don't think any of these things are a bad reason to like Halloween.  I just question if celebrating Halloween excessively really accomplishes any of this. Halloween has become a massive commercial enterprise.  It is second only to Christmas.  Costume shops pop up in every neighborhood.  Every depa

I know I talk way too much about how much I hate this time of year.  I will say again much of that talk is less about real issues with the time of year and more about the end of summer and the constant hyping of Halloween, pumpkin spice, and what I call the "Basic Blather" about crunchy air and sweaters.  Regardless, I think some of my concerns are legitimate.  I don't like the dark and the weather is rarely as perfect as everyone wants it to be.  Most of all, I take issue with the traffic. This past weekend I was driving home after a long day at the barn.  I had plans for the evening and I wanted to go home and relax for a bit before going back out again.  I was cruising down Route 94 when traffic went from a clip to a creep.  Where was the backup coming from?  It was coming from the traffic pouring out of the road leading from Ochs Orchard to the traffic light.  Once I was past that traffic jam, I drove by Pennings Orchard .  While there were no traffic jams there,

Let me start by saying right away that you may be offended by the beginning of this post.  You won't like it. I'm sure it will make you angry.  That's fine, but before you decide to vent your anger back at me, please read the entire post.  You may not think I'm such a bad person after this is finished.  My purpose is to bring hope and cooperation. With so many tragedies happening across the country right now, many friends have requested I pray for them, or else pray for others who may be suffering.  That's all you want me to do - pray.  You want me to ask a deity - and I'm sure you mean the deity you personally worship - to do something for you.  I suppose it's an easy way for me to respond to your problems.  I pray for God (or gods) to help you. Better God than me, right? Let's say I decide to help you by praying.  How do I go about doing that?  I go to a quiet place where I won't be interrupted.  It might be my home and it might be a church.  M

The Civil War was a black stain on our country's history.  Half of the states in the United States committed an attack of treason against our country and attacked us for the right to no longer be a part of us.  Their motivation for doing so was so they could continue their horrific abuse of human rights in the form of slavery. We should never forget the Civil War, but we shouldn't glorify it.  Heroes of the Confederacy should not have a place of prominence in the public square.  We should not be honoring their efforts.  They betrayed our country and they lost badly.  Many of these statues and memorials were erected in the 20th Century rather than during or after the Civil War.  This reverence for the era of slavery and the violent protection of it, happened during the height of Jim Crow laws.  These memorials were meant to be a reinforcement of institutionalized racism It makes sense for decent people to want them down and placed in a museum rather than in the public square

Anyone who has read style posts on this blog knows I love to shop in theory, but find it frustrating in practice.  That's why I am often pursuing online services that have stylists pick out clothes for me.  I have done multiple posts on StitchFix (I have ordered a few boxes since my last review post with varying levels of success) and the now-defunct Keaton Row (I think they ruined their own business model). My most difficult problem with buying clothes in the past three years has been weight fluctuations.  I joined StitchFix after a major weight loss, but a year later I was gaining again.  Fit issues continued to be an issue with Keaton Row.  I went from a size 8-10 to a size 6-8 to a size 10-12 in a short period of time.  I'm back down to a fairly steady size 10 now, but I'm working on going back to the 6-8 days.  I have had to buy multiple sizes of clothes to accommodate all of these weight fluctuations.  It means I have assorted items of clothing that are too large

Getting into an elevator with someone who just smoked a cigarette (or pipe, or cigar, or any other smokeable substance). Having a piece of food - particularly a hard piece of food - stuck on your tonsils and the back of your tongue keeps bumping up against it. Your passenger's left leg when you put your manual car in fifth. Being stuck behind a slow walker on the streets of New York (and the people coming from the other direction are moving too fast to allow you to go around the slowpoke). The slow walker above is smoking a cigarette. Donald Trump's ugly face everywhere I look. The crying baby in the apartment upstairs. People who hold the elevator forever at their floor. People who won't re-rack weights at the gym. Bent bra hooks.

I know health and fitness posts aren't the most interesting items I write.  I doubt there are many readers who want to know the narcissistic details of my health and fitness improvement efforts.  Nonetheless, every once in a while I do feel it's not a bad idea to discuss my progress and whether or not I'm making the right moves to achieve my goals.  I do hope it inspires some of my readers.  I'm sure there are many people out there with similar struggles who want to know what worked for me and what doesn't.   I felt my regular updates on my progress on the Lean Eating program provided some insight to readers who might be considering the program themselves.  I'm also sure there are people who are struggling with losing weight after recovering from an injury or illness as I was. So now that I have made excuses for why I still continue with this boring and self-centered pursuit of writing about my body issues, I want to talk about the problem so many women face w

"It's traditional." "It's always been done this way." If you want me to support your cause, you will never use these phrases with me.  I believe tradition can be more of a hindrance than a help.  Rigid adherence to tradition is a potential impediment to true progress.  If humans always stuck to the belief that things should be done one way because they have always been done that way, we would all still be living in trees.  Everything changes and moves forward and most of the time humanity is the better for it. This doesn't only apply to the big issues.  It also applies to the small ones.  Pop culture needs to be refreshed and reinvented too sometimes.  If it didn't we would all still be watching vaudeville and the Keystone Cops and wondering why were were bored with them. The grand tradition of Dr. Who deserves a face lift as much as any institution.  For the uninitiated, I will clarify that Dr. Who is a TV show that began in 1963.  The B

When I am on the train going home, I do not like to get up after I find a seat and sit down.  I want to sit down and immediately get my ticket ready and read my book.  I don't want to be disrupted.  I want to stay seated until the train reaches my stop.  This means I do what it takes to not have to move to let someone in my row.  If I'm sitting in the aisle seat, I will ask anyone requesting to sit in my what her stop is.  If that person is getting off before me, I will gladly take the middle seat.  It's is much easier than standing up, moving into the aisle to let the other passenger into the middle seat, and then getting up again at that passenger's stop. Today I boarded the train and found an available seat in the two facing rows at the back of the car.  Two people were in this group of seats already.  One was sitting on the aisle and one was sitting at the window.  I decided to take the remaining window seat since I wouldn't have to move at all as other people

Donald Trump can't help himself.  He has to lash out at everything and everyone.  There seems to be a general consensus among rational people that his recent comment about Mika Brzezinski is a step too far. His minority of supporters are cheering him on.  His long-suffering wife defended him.  This woman who claims to be supporting an anti-bullying project said, "He will punch back 10 times harder." Is this the kind of behavior we should expect from someone occupying the the highest office in the land? Being president - being in politics in general -  requires an extraordinary personality.  A politician needs a thick skin.  He needs to be able to take the high ground when attacked.  He needs to be diplomatic at all times.  He has to walk a fine line between being gracious and saying what's on his mind.  When you are president, you must deal with the media, the public, and the leaders of other countries with consistency and class. In other words, you don't

Drama, drama, drama.  Everything is drama. I hate that word. Oh, do you think I'm being "dramatic" when I say that?  Well, tough.  Maybe it's time you stopped pointing fingers and started listening. This seems to be the typical reaction to any displays of negative feelings these days: Person #1 - I'm really upset right now by events around me, or the people around me. Person #2 - Oh cut the drama! Another example: Person #1 - I'm stating my opinion. Person #2 - I'm disagreeing with your opinion. Person #3 - Ooh!  Look at all the drama.  I am getting the popcorn to watch this unfold because it's all just entertainment. Person #4 - Oh no.  It's drama.  I can't handle it. What is "drama"?  In the true definition of the word, it is a form of entertainment that is meant to be mostly serious.  The feelings it are meant to evoke are not humor or warm fuzzies.  A play, television show, or movie that is considered a

Sometimes I feel weary of hiding. When I make social media posts, I am always cognizant of who will read it.  What will readers think?  Will they be offended?  Will they still like me if they post it?  I want people to like me. What do I do to stay safe?  I don't always say what's on my mind.  I have come up with blog post topics that I would never dare publish .  I have hidden my opinions behind metaphors .  I have specific lists of friends who can only see certain Facebook posts. When you see me online what do you see? The girl who is obsessed with food? The horse girl? The theater girl? The smart aleck? Maybe you don't want to see: The feminist. The secularist who wishes you well, and will help you in any way she can, but will not pray for you. The patriot who believes that the tide of progress can not, and should not be stopped , who believes that one should understand the line between patriotism and jingoism, who believes the government and the Am

I'm not sure exactly when the bug got up my butt.  I would say it was about 3 or 4 years ago.  I may even have to partially credit reading The Fault in Our Stars .  I can only say at some point Amsterdam became a city that was a major item on the Bucket List .  It seemed like a city that contained a little of everything I love as a tourist: beautiful scenery and architecture, friendly people, and plenty of museums and culture. I put it off for a few years.  I never seemed to be able to get the money together.  Twice my father made me offers I couldn't refuse for other vacations like Prague and the cruise to the Mediterranean .  Amsterdam was put on the back burner again and again. I had no major plans for the back half of 2017, so I considered taking a trip in the fall.  I got Kevin tentatively on board with the idea.  We were planning our usual Chincoteague trip in July and wanted to escape winter in March by going to Hawaii.  I thought it would be pleasant to take a trip