Shipwrecked & Comatose

I did my Lean Eating photo shoot this week.  Thank goodness I managed to push down a couple extra pounds and even three more inches.  I also did my final bodyfat test.  I'm just a little over 20% fat right now.  Too bad so much of that fat seems to reside in my lower belly. The program ends December 27.  I will likely have Kevin take a few more progress shots then when I have the final weight and measurement tallies.  Those will be the ones I will post here.  My official "after" shots were taken this weekend though.   I did my photo shoot as directed.  All went fairly well.  I had some good fitness shots.  As long as I had a tank top on, I didn't look heavy at all.  I just wish I looked a tad leaner and more defined. We had to really improvise when it came to rigging up a backdrop and trying to do these photos in a small space.  I did a bunch of outdoor ones at the barn, most of which are on my Fac...

I can't believe my time at Lean Eating is winding down. I'm trying not to panic.  Just because I still have 15 pounds, 10 inches, and another percentage or two point of bodyfat to lose doesn't mean the end of the world.  I don't need to be on this program indefinitely to lose it.  My progress is still ridiculously stalled though.  My weight is just barely nudged down.  My measurements only slightly more so. This weeks good news is that I went online last week and ordered a ridiculous amount of new clothing.  I had to.  So much of my stuff if just too big now.  I couldn't wear any of my pants.  One of my favorite dresses looked like a bathrobe.  I wasn't even sure what size to order.  I don't know what my size is anymore.  It's tough to shop online, but I have to since the online stores have more petite options and I don't have much time to go to brick-and-mortar stores anyway.  Everything I bought fit me.  I took th...

What's my progress this week?  Nil as per usual!  I am really getting a bit frustrated that my weight refuses to budge.  I just can't get that scale or that tape measure to move.  I can't pretend that it's not my fault.  I have let my eating habits fall away a bit.  My eating habits are great maintenance habits, but currently they're not great loss habits.  I have my photo shoot in two weeks.  I accepted a long time ago that I wouldn't be triumphantly posing in a sports bra showing off my exquisitely sculpted body, but I hoped I wouldn't still look dumpy either. Relax.  Refocus.  Don't give up.  I just want to lose another six pounds before this year is up.  That's not impossible, but it does mean I need to step it up. Anyway, I don't want to sit around with another boring post about my weight and eating habits.  Today I have my hackles up and I need to get it off my chest. My gym, like most gyms, is not exactly a ba...

I closed out October 3 pounds heavier than I wanted to be.  I think I'm looking okay.  I am not as close to where I wanted to be by now, but I look so much better than I did 10 months ago. I was hoping to have lost at least 20 pounds for my photo shoot in three weeks.  I'm thinking I'll probably by down about 17 pounds by then.  I lose pounds, inches, and bodyfat slowly.  That's something I have to accept.  It means I will have to work diligently on my own after this program is over to get to goal.  I accept that now.  I was hoping to be showing off my abs in a sports bra for this photo shoot.  I think I'll wear a nice arm-muscle-bearing tank top. It's funny.  I had a dream last night that Kevin was taking my progress pictures, as we do every month, and I was totally happy with the picture.  I looked as good as I thought I could look.  I was satisfied.  That picture was in my head when I woke up.  I remembered tha...

I'll start with my good news. Several years ago Land's End had a custom jeans service.  When you have a body shaped like mine, services like this are a dream come true.  When you have a fairly high waist-to-hip ratio, a poochy belly, and fairly thick thighs, all in addition to not only being short, but being shorter than your average petite inseam, you have a hard time finding clothes that fit.  It was nice to be able to order jeans cut to my measurements. Measurements is a key word here.  I really wasn't honest with mine when I ordered those jeans.  They were more about what I thought they were, or should be, rather than what they actually were.  When I received my new jeans, they were rather snug.  They weren't impossible to put on, but they weren't all that comfortable.  I kept them partially because they were non-refundable, and partially because I thought they would inspire me to lose weight.  They could be my measure of progress. I ...

Wow.  Forty weeks seems like a really long time doesn't it? Yet this year and this program keep flying by.   With my weight and measurements still stuck in the same place this week, I'm still feeling a bit discouraged.  I had a weight goal for the month that I probably will not meet.  I thought I ate well this week despite last weekend's high school reunion-related meals.  It just goes to show you that there is no magic formula.  You can do everything "right" and still your body is going to respond to it in its own way and it's own time. So I am thinking a lot about how I plan to push forward into the future.  I really have to continue to adjust my expectations, my mindset, and my plan.   I was reading my Lean Eating lesson earlier this week that talks about establishing a "fit identity".  We all have an internal struggle inside of us.  There is the fit person who will do what it takes to take charge of her health and wellness and ...

I'm holding steady with both weights and measurements this week.  Slowly I'm making my way down.  I can still say I'm at my lowest weight ever in 13 years. Since the fitness media fast ended I am back to reading fitness blogs again.  I suppose I shouldn't.  I read posts by healthy, smart, sassy, feminist personal trainers who talk about what it means to be healthy, fit, and strong, who say that we shouldn't pay attention to the numbers on the scale, but what we are capable of doing, who do occasionally mention their weight.  It's always a bit discouraging.  I read, "I'm 5'5" and I'm 127 pounds, or I'm 5'9 and 136 pounds" and it just makes me feel that much worse about my own accomplishments.  I feel fat.  I realize I have such a long way to go.  It drives home the point just how overweight for my height I was, and how overweight I still am, even though I have lost several pounds.  It amazes me how most smart fitness bloggers ...