Shipwrecked & Comatose

Comparison is the enemy of self love and the enemy of moving forward. I fell into a few brief moments of deep despair during this past phase and much of it came because I fell down the comparison rabbit hole. My addiction to food and fashion blogs can be a bit disheartening at times.  Why are fashion bloggers almost always thin?  Why are so many of the food bloggers I follow so thin?  Is there anyone out there in the blogosphere who isn't thin? I found myself feeling this weird sense of resentment after reading this pos t on the food and fashion blog Cupcakes and Cashmere (a wonderful blog I otherwise love to peruse).   Here you have this gorgeous, thin woman who has had a baby recently*, and she says she struggles to stay active.  She struggles to stay active and can wear a loose-fitting, spaghetti strap dress with no visible means of support and no saggy or jiggly bits waving in the wind.  Her body is enviable in its ability to wear almost anything...

What do I remember most about my last days on Facebook? I remember looking at a photo of an old friend from college at her wedding shower.  She looked adorably radiant in her hat made of bows.  Although she and I had never been particularly close, we had been in many classes together in college and I was certainly fond of her.  I was thrilled to see her so happy. I realized that if I left Facebook, I would never see her wedding pictures.  I would not be able to wish her well on her wedding day.  I would not see her honeymoon pictures.  She was going to Hawaii - to the same islands Kevin and I visited this winter - and we had corresponded briefly about things to see and do while she was there.  I would never know if she took any of my advice. I still kept the Facebook Messenger app on my iPad in case anyone needed to reach out to me and didn't have my email address.  A week after deactivating my account, I had a message from an old, dear frie...

Out with the old, in with the new. Wait.  That's not quite right.  Old does not have to go out if it's still useful and still looks good.  New doesn't have to take over the old.  Do I have too much old?  Did I buy too much new? I am following several fashion bloggers who talk about creating a "capsule wardrobe".  This is a wardrobe of fairly timeless pieces that best capture your style. At first I thought these sites were going to help me dress perfectly with every piece mixable and into a signature style that screams "Rachel."  No item would be superfluous and everything would work together harmoniously. I have learned in the past few weeks as I transition my wardrobe from the fall/winter closet to the spring/summer closet that trying to get yourself into this mindset can drive you crazy. It is definitely helpful to evaluate your wardrobe periodically.  Sometimes there is a reason why something has been sitting in the back of the closet...

As I write this post, I sit here wondering if I should, for accountability purposes, go and weigh and measure myself.  Isn't that supposed to be what the measure of progress is?  First I take away the photos and now I'm taking away the numbers? I am walking a line right now.  There are so many fitness experts out there who are telling me I shouldn't live by the numbers.  I should go by how I feel.  My weight and measurements don't matter and I should not judge myself by the scale. On the other hand, I wonder if not weighing and measuring is just a copout.  I just don't want to see proof that I'm not making any progress.  My eating habits are still not great.  I'm still eating too much at mealtimes and eating too much between meals. Right now I am going to go with the former and not do any weights or measurements.  Maybe I'll change my mind in the next Phase.  Maybe I'll change my mind next week.  I can step on the scale any ti...

Stronger, but not smaller. This month I will not be sharing stats.  I have no time or inclination to weight or measure myself.  Although I finished NROLFW State 2, I have not had much time to focus on health habits. So much has been happening.  I just finished another play.  It was fun and thrilling and I had a great cast to work with, but it was also exhausting and time consuming.  There was a fire in my building that took out the laundry rooms and I will be scrambling to find times and places to do laundry in the coming weeks until repairs are made.  I had a bad cold that still lingers intermittently.  My elbow, seemingly almost healed, has taken a turn for the worse.  My insomnia has been raging.  On the good side, I'm killing it at the gym these days despite the elbow.  I am adding more weight every week.  I still have to be cautious for certain exercises, but I know once the pain is gone I can bring myself to 2014 strengt...

I'm a realist.  I know death is a part of life.  Everyone dies.  In the 21st Century we are lucky most Americans are living well into their 80s and 90s.  Unfortunately, not everyone lives that long.  In this period of good health and longevity, people still die in their 60s and 70s, seemingly struck down in their prime.  It happens.  Even if we maintain good health, diseases can sneak up on us and kill us. Fame doesn't protect you from death.  Our favorite musicians, actors, dancers, and comedians all have to go some time, right?   Being a celebrity certainly doesn't do much to help with longevity.  Celebrities don't live the same lives we do if you stop and think about it. I know how exhausted I feel when I am in the midst of rehearsing and performing a tiny community theater play.  I can't imagine the stress of shooting a movie.  I remember in college I felt like a week on tour with the concert choir on spring break w...

This morning I was reading an article on a fitness website about morning routines that fit women should be doing regularly.  One of them was take a hike.  The article said that on a weekend a walk in nature to start the day can be uplifting and invigorating. I thought this was a good idea.  I started to consider where I could best find nature close to home.  I imagined myself walking out the door onto Meadow Street.  It's a pretty, tree-lined street, but it's near the middle of town.  I might need to go a bit farther to see some real nature.  It would only be a 5 minute drive to the Marsh Lands Conservancy though?  What about this coming weekend? I took a few seconds to review the plan in my head.  Then something occurred to me. I don't live on Meadow Street anymore and I haven't lived there in almost 20 years. Isn't it strange how no matter how old I am, and how long I have lived as an adult with my husband in my current home, I stil...