It Can't Only Be Up to Me to Bridge the Divide

In the past two election cycles I heard every day about how divided this country is.   The divide is between elitists and populists, between urban and rural, between the coasts and Middle America, between the Christians and the "Nones", between the working class and the white collar class.

As a liberal living in New York, I get a lot of flack for being "coastal elite" and supposedly looking down on the people in "flyover territory".  If only I would listen to the other side, if only I would care about their needs, this country would finally heal.  I am the one who doesn't understand what the other side goes through.  I need to be more open-minded.  I need to stop being so snobby.  Nothing will heal this country until I, and people like me, get off our high horses and start understanding the other side.

Well, you know what? I am tired of this being all on me. I'm tired of being told I don't understand or relate to the other side.  I'm tired of being told I'm just as crazy and extreme as they are.  I understand more than you think I do.

I want to know if the other side understands me.

Do you think I'm an elitist?  Do you think I look down on you?  I imagine the picture you have of me in your head.  I listen to NPR, swill chardonnay, drink soy lattes, and drive an electric vehicle.  I shun beer and sports and country music.  I read liberal opinion pieces for fun and look down on the uneducated. I want to raise taxes on everyone so that money can go to poor people who don't want to work and have babies for the sole purpose of collecting money from the government.  You think I hate this country and want it to turn into Soviet-style communism.  You think that I am not only not Christian but that I want to remove Christianity from this country.

Do you think I see you as an uneducated hick with a misplaced sense of patriotism and and a backwards reliance on the Bible?  Do you think I want the government to take even more of your money away?  Do I look down on you and see you as inferior? Do you think I think you are racist?  Do you think I want to take your guns away? Is this what you assume about me?

I suppose some of the things you say about me are true.  I love wine and hate beer.  I prefer theater and books to sports.  I can’t stand country music.  I read liberal opinion pieces for fun and listen to NPR.  (I think soymilk is an insult to the beverage world though).  Even though those traits are accurate, they are superficial.  My personal preferences for what I like to eat or drink or how I spend my free time have little to do with the things I truly value.  

Do you know what I value?  I value family.  I value the land I live on.  I value friendships.  I value humor. I value knowledge.  I value fun.  I value being occupied, active, and productive.  I'm sure my values don't differ that much from yours.  

One strong value I have is empathy.  I can feel others' pain.  I like to think this is what makes me a liberal.  This is why you can't tell me I don't understand you.  This is why you can't tell me I don't know what you're going through because I happen to have been born into a middle-class, east coast family, and was able to have a solid public education and attend a good college.  Empathy allows me to look at the world I live in and be upset at what happens within it.  Empathy allows me to understand what people born without my privileges are going through. 

When I look at this country I see too many citizens who are underemployed and not making enough money to pay for food and rent.  I see this happening because we have a low minimum wage that will not pay the rent anywhere in the country.  I see people working two or three jobs.  I see a country with a crumbling infrastructure that is crucial for the functioning of all businesses.  I see a country with unequal education.  I see a country where in many places the water is undrinkable and the air is questionable.  I see a country where healthcare is so expensive that a single illness can put a family in debt for years. 

I see the struggle that "real America" goes through.  I want everyone to succeed - or at least be given equal chance to succeed.  I want investment in safe and reliable infrastructure.  I want a good education to be available to everyone.  I want fair wages paid for an honest day's work.  I believe any job that serves a need - any sort of need - should be compensated fairly.  I don't care if you didn't go to college or if you live in a rural area or if you work in a farm or in a factory.  You deserve all the benefits that come from being a citizen of this country.  You deserve a living wage, the ability to take care of yourself when you are sick, quality education for your children, safe roads, clean air, and clean water.  

Whatever our superficial differences are, I don't think the things I want for you differ from the things you want for yourself.  You may have some superficial differences with my on ideologies and religion, but I also know that ideology and religion are luxuries when your basic needs aren't being met.  

This is what I want for all of this country.  I want us all to stop having to worry about our basic needs being met.  I don't think basic needs should be denied one group because another group doesn't like those people.  We are all entitled to the same benefits of living in this society.  

When I say this I am told that I want to "tax and spend" at best and at worst I am a communist/socialist (I never deleted the comment a stranger made on this post years ago that accused me of spreading communist propaganda).  If people like me were in charge the government would take everything out of our paychecks and give it to the "wrong" people.  

When it comes to taxes I will be the first to agree that the middle class is shouldering a disproportionate amount of the the costs of running this country.  It's not the middle class I want taxed.  I am asking that the people at the very top, who are making more money they can ever spend or invest in this lifetime to pay their fair share.  

"Real America" suffers to pay its bills with no healthcare.  "Real America" freezes to death in a snowstorm because of a power grid that wasn't prepared for extreme weather.  "Real America" goes bankrupt from a hospital stay.  In the meantime billionaires wall themselves off from "Real America" and live in worry-free luxury, knowing even a small percentage of their wealth could fix any number of the problems we face in this country and they still would live in worry-free luxury.  

This country had forty years to prove the theory of trickle-down economics.  Billionaires had a chance to use their tax cuts to increase wages and they failed to create more jobs or pay better wages.  I'm not a communist when I say this system isn't working.  

I want for the rest of this country what I want for myself.  I want all of us - urban and rural, red state and blue state, religious and non-religious - to have security, dignity, and good health.  

That's why I am tired of being told my ideology is causing a divide in this country.  It's my fault for not seeing the other side.  I am not "healing".  I am not "coming together". 

I'm tired of it being up to me.  Why won't the other side get over its prejudices about my so-called "elitism" and understand I stand behind every American?  

Do you think I look down on you because you're not as educated as me?  If you're embarrassed about your education level, do something about it. I'm not saying go get a degree.  That's out of reach for many people.  I'm saying there are many ways to educate yourself that have nothing to do with school.  Read more books.  Listen to NPR (considered by media watchdogs to be one of the most neutral unbiased news sources out there).  Go online and talk to people from other countries or even other areas of the United States.  Go to the library and listen to lectures or join the book clubs.  Find new ways to learn some new perspectives.

Do you think I look down on your because of your religion?  I may not believe in your gods, but I respect your right to have a religion.  If it makes you uncomfortable that other people criticize your religion, maybe it's time to have some honest dialogs about why.  Examine your beliefs and decide what parts of your beliefs serve you and which ones don't.  Don't assume people who don't believe what you believe share none of your values.  Yes, there are some political hot button issues we differ on, but I will bet we share more in common than you think.

Bridges are best when they are built from both sides.  I'm willing to show you some sympathy.  I know you don't think I'm fighting for the same things you are, but I am.  Now how willing are you to listen to me?  What will you do to bridge the divide?  I can't do it all myself.